Three Major Concepts of Emotional Retraining

Three Concepts of Emotional Retraining and Cognitive Behavior Therapy/Counseling

Counseling at TurningPoint is focused on providing effective and efficient help to people who are experiencing emotional problems. Research has demonstrated that for most of the emotional and behavioral problems facing people, cognitive behavior therapy is by far the best, most effective and efficient assistance. While it might be interesting to discover how you came to the pain you are experiencing, TurningPoint would like to help you get rid of your pain as quickly and effectively as possible.

We rely heavily on cognitive therapies such as emotional retraining and rational emotive behavior counseling because they work. Not only do they work, but they are the most congruent with a sound, mature and healthy spirituality.

Emotional Retraining and Rational Emotive Behavior Counseling have three basic concepts which are profoundly spiritual and in agreement with  most major religious faiths.  These three spiritual concepts are central to human encounter in a reality filled with a sense of the Holiness of life.

The first concept is . . .

Everything is exactly the way it is supposed to be, given the antecedents.

This means that if I insist on grabbing a hot pan, I'm going to get burned. If I turn on a water faucet, the water will not flow up, but down. God--or the Holy, by whatever name you choose--is not capricious. In loving care of humanity, God is consistent so that we are able to make sense of the world.

This also means that we can change the antecedents and thereby change the results. This gives us hope for the future--a healthier future.

The second concept is . . .

We are all fallible human beings.

This means that I cannot be perfect and if I want happiness and health I would better accept my own imperfections. Perfectionism creates all manner of pain and suffering. There is suffering I must accept in this life, but I need not cause myself more by perfectionism. I will be happier if I practice Unconditional Self Acceptance, while striving for improvement.

Expecting perfection from others is also a pitfall. We would better have Unconditional Other Acceptance, while helping others improve their behaviors.

I can strive to improve myself, knowing that while I may never be perfect, with effort and practice I may become better and happier.

In traditional spirituality, one would say that our perfection comes from God's grace and doesn't depend on our own actions. As fallible human beings we are perfect just as we are with our imperfection.

The third concept is . . .

"It" doesn't do anything to me. (It meaning the world, life circumstances, etc.)

The world and its inhabitants--people, animals--were not created inimical to my well-being and interests. In general other people are not out to do me ill, they are, instead, merely doing what they believe they need in order to pursue their own needs as they see them.  They are not intentionally harmful to me, but simply doing what they perceive to be in their own interests. Sometimes others beliefs and needs and the world's processes may be harmful to me and I must rationally protect myself.

In traditional spiritual terms, this means that God is open to, and desires my partnership in creating a better world and a better human interaction.

A Corollary is . . .

In some sense we are not fully human. We are in process of becoming so but we are still evolving. We do not know what we may become, but we are intelligent, can become more so, and have a great deal of potential for creating a better future and a better future humanity.